Day 48 It is 02/20/2020, perfect “vision” for the first day that I embark on Fifty days to Fifty. On April 10, 2020 I will be fifty years old! Fifty is a very emotional milestone for people to hit.. Outdated images of women with mostly grey hair, sagging skin and wrinkles dressed in unbecoming matronly clothing flash into many people’s minds, whether spoken or not.
“Men-oh-pause” as the joke goes, 50 and 51 is the average age for menopause, when the age of natural childbearing is scoffed at or highly discouraged.
Wow, half a century—to be 50, the first birthday one is allowed to join the AARP club!
“Once you turn 50 (as a woman), you become invisible” — I have heard this so many times as a young woman, it’s chilling and dare I say, obsolete now in 2020!
I am undertaking 50 days to 50 as a therapeutic tool for myself to compassionately embrace an age that I have conflicting feelings about, including but not limited to: joy, awe, sadness, amusement, strangeness, denial, acceptance, bewilderment and curiosity; to walk my audience through my experience of entering the milestone age, and to impart wisdom in the process. What you are reading is my writing in real time. 🙂
As I release my 40’s into the proceeding 50 days, I do so while reconciling my regrets (failed trials of trying to settle down and start a family), anger and failed relationships with family, friends and colleagues, and not having launched my private business in full swing (yet)….that is for my upcoming 50s! Most of all, however, I embrace letting go of my 40s with love, which I am determined to dovetail and guide me into the new decade of my years. To turn 50 in 2020 feels like a symbolic honor in itself: newness, hindsight, foresight with a balanced perspective.
Namaste, ’til tomorrow.